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"Deep Sea Diver"

from "3 A​.​M​.​" EP by Casey Ruff

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about

This song has its (sea) legs, and that is to say that I've been able to perform this song in varied musical forms and it's had a way of conveying the static sentiments- only from different emotional vantages. I take that as reassuring that the song has enough dimension to pull from and I end up believing it however it's being portrayed.

This song was inspired by the dependable perception of my feelings differing from objective reality. I oftentimes feel at odds with what's occurring around me, and I suppose that's gonna happen because realities differ. Sometimes I can become angry with others because they're not seeing what I'm seeing, and sometimes that makes me think I'm thinking about something or feeling something more than the other person or persons are doing or are capable of, and sometimes people perceive that same assertion of me, and so on and on and on.

It's all rather messy and all-too human and I wish I was better at attending to this whole "being a conscious being" thing. Thankfully songwriting allows for access to charged symbolism that I feel does a better job of describing what I'm experiencing than I could inter-personally articulate.

lyrics

And I wonder why I don't
Just leave, leave myself alone
As I wander to and fro
Searching, searching for the source of my hurting
In the Deep Beneath the Blue

Up in their glass bottom boats, floating
As I watch from below
As they rock and as they roll
They're so noisy
But all I hear is the hum and the drum and Nothing

And it's Something that I've been searching for
Not paramours going overboard
They're so proud but they would drown Beneath the Blue

And now I'm a Deep Sea Diver, that's for certain
It takes me longer to get done hurting
The heart that's larger takes longer to heal.

As I walk along the floor
Through the shipwrecks from storms
Forgotten or ignored
I remember treasures,
Old bottles full of letters,
And skeletons still clutching their swords
Oh, the memories in The Deep Beneath the Blue

All the bottles full of letters
That'd be better off
Never written at all
The bottles rain down
They catch the light just right
And they look like stars falling through the night
And I'm reminded
I once believed
Believed in our love
Our love was a dream
A dream I'll wake up from
Another wish has come to live Beneath the Blue

And now I'm a Deep Sea Diver, that's for certain
It takes me longer to get done hurting
The heart that's larger takes longer to heal.

credits

from "3 A​.​M​.​" EP, released May 1, 2020

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Casey Ruff Seattle, Washington

A singer/songwriter residing in Seattle, WA and originally from Custer, MT. Known by migrant beet laborers as "El Dragón de las Altas Llanuras". Former high school mascot. Future nihilist. Acting Vice President of the M. Bellucci Fan Club. Sounds like AmeriContra, Gravelvet, and Frontier Orchestral ... more

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